Not All Rest Restores

As the holidays approach, you finally have a little breathing room, some days off from work.

You sit down.
You scroll.
You watch.
You play “just one more” game on your phone.

And yet… you may wake up the next morning just as tired, sometimes even more so.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not necessarily doing anything wrong.

But you might be confusing escape with rest.

And the difference matters more than we realize.

The Relaxation Myth

When life feels heavy, our nervous system looks for fast relief, easy relief. And oftentimes, that leads to what activities that don't require any thought.

Endless scrolling. Background TV. Mindless games.

These activities don’t ask much of us. They give us an immediate off-ramp from thinking, feeling, or deciding. And when coming off of a demanding, overwhelming job, that can feel like an angel of mercy.

But here’s the quiet truth many of us discover too late:

You can spend hours “resting” and still feel depleted the next day.

Numbing rest:

• numbs rather than nourishes

• distracts rather than grounds

• passes time but doesn’t refill energy

• often leaves us foggy, restless, or behind the next day

Restoring rest:

• calms the nervous system

• reconnects us to ourselves

• gives energy back (even slowly)

• helps us feel more capable tomorrow than we did today

One helps you escape from life.

The other helps you return to it.

Why we choose mindless activities:

Most people don’t choose numbing rest because they’re undisciplined.

They choose it because it requires no emotional energy. It doesn’t force reflection. It offers instant relief. It feels safe when everything else feels demanding.

When we’re depleted, our brain looks for the fastest off-ramp.

That’s human.

The problem isn’t that we use these tools occasionally. It’s when they become our only form of rest.

Signs You’re Taking a Break, but Not Restoring Your Energy or Motivation

Sometimes the clue isn’t how much time we spend “resting,” but how we feel afterwards.

Here are a few quiet signals that your go-to downtime might be more about escape than renewal:

☐ You wake up tired even after an evening of “doing nothing.”
☐ You feel mentally foggy, restless, or behind the next day.
☐ You need more caffeine, sugar, or stimulation just to get going.
☐ You avoid starting meaningful tasks because you feel drained before you begin.
☐ You feel a subtle sense of dissatisfaction or guilt after long periods of downtime.

None of these mean you’re lazy or undisciplined.

They simply suggest that what you’re doing may be numbing rather than replenishing.

The Cost We Don’t Notice Until Later

The downside of numbing rest doesn’t always show up immediately.

It shows up the next morning as:

• lingering fatigue

• lower motivation

• less patience

• a subtle sense of dissatisfaction

Not because scrolling or TV is “bad," but because it doesn’t replenish what’s been drained.

But there's hope. Awareness, not willpower, is the first shift.

Pause → Orient → Choose Tool for the Week

→ Pause

Before defaulting to scrolling, streaming, or zoning out, pause long enough to notice:

• “What am I actually feeling right now? Tired, lonely, overwhelmed, bored, overstimulated?”

• “What just happened that made me want to escape?”

• “Are there certain moments that trigger this feeling such as at the end of the workday, conflict, decision fatigue, silence, or uncertainty?”

These moments are red flags, not failures.

They’re signals your system is asking for relief, and that’s where choice begins.

→ Orient

Check in honestly:

• “Do I want to disappear for a while… or come back to myself?”

• “Will this help me feel more grounded tomorrow or just help me get through tonight?”

There’s no wrong answer, only honest ones.

→ Choose

Gently choose something that gives energy back, even a little:

✔ a short walk or stretch
✔ a warm shower and slow breathing
✔ journaling
✔ tidying one small space
✔ sitting quietly with a warm drink

A helpful filter question:

“Will this help me come back to myself or disappear from myself?”

A Holiday Reframe: Rest That Prepares You for What’s Next

The holidays are often framed as a break.

But what most of us actually need isn’t a pause from work. What most of us actually need is to restore our energy and motivation. 

Rest that steadies us, grounds us, and prepares us to begin the new year with refreshed capacity.

This season doesn’t need more pressure to be productive.

It just needs better choices about how we recover.

📌 One More Thought Before You Go:

You don’t need to do more in the new year.

You need to be more restored.

Rest that actually restores isn’t indulgent, it’s essential. It’s how you protect your energy, your clarity, and your capacity for what comes next.

Be gentle with yourself this season, but be honest, too.

Your future self will thank you for choosing rest that gives something back.