Let’s Be Honest: People Remember Our Worst Moments

If you’ve been in the same organization long enough, you already know this:

People remember:

• the meeting where tempers flared
• the email that landed wrong
• the moment you pushed too hard
• the time frustration turned into venting

Over the past several weeks, we’ve talked a lot about frustration at work like seeing patterns others miss, staying grounded when things get ridiculous, and protecting your energy when your experience is dismissed.

And all of that matters, but there’s another layer we don’t talk about enough.

What happens after your bad moments?

The Truth We Skip Over

 You may be very good at diagnosing problems, redesigning the process, and proposing smart solutions.

But the truth is, your reputation matters. And your effectiveness at influencing positive change is dependent on your past behaviors.

Whether intentional or not, people will filter all of your ideas through their beliefs about you before they’re even heard.

And this is where so many improvement efforts quietly fail.

You can design the most realistic, grounded, well-thought-out solution in the world…  but if the people around you still feel disrespected, written off, or blasted with your negativity, your reputation may quietly shift, not based on your intent, but on how those moments landed.

You may start being seen as:

• rude
• unapproachable
• difficult
• unhelpful
• intimidating
• “hard to work with”
• or unfairly labeled as negative

And the worst part is that when this happens, your influence will always be limited.

Even when everyone wants things to improve, people listen defensively, ideas will get filtered through old emotions, and collaboration becomes surface-level at best.

A Reset for Making Amends

(POC: Pause • Orient • Choose)

What we’re much less comfortable doing is repairing the relational damage left behind when frustration spills over.

But repair isn’t emotional fluff. It’s a leadership skill.

Pause

Before revisiting a solution, pause and ask:
→ Who might still be carrying something from a previous interaction with me?
→ Where did frustration override connection?

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about awareness.

Orient

Ground yourself in reality:
→ What outcome do I actually want now?
→ Would repairing this relationship make my future influence easier?

Orientation reminds us that being right and being effective are not the same thing.

Choose

Choose one small act of repair:

→ A simple acknowledgment
→ A quiet apology
→ A reset conversation

Sometimes it’s as simple as saying:
“I’ve been thinking about that meeting. I don’t love how I showed up, and I want us to move forward with a clean slate.”

That one sentence can do more than ten improvement plans ever will.

Key Takeaway

If you want better outcomes, make sure your reputation and relationships are solid. 

No matter how uncomfortable, making amends can be the bridge between frustration and real influence.

📌 One More Thought Before You Go:

Let's be clear.

Repair does not mean taking responsibility for other people’s dysfunction. 

But it does mean owning your tone, timing, and delivery.

Choose to lead with both wisdom and humility.

That combination is powerful for making positive changes that have a big impact.